Did you read that title like Salt-N-Pepa’s hit song from ’91? If so, you’re my people. If not, phone a friend.
First, let me clarify that I am no grammatical genius. While I tend to think I’m not too shabby in that department, this blog writing here has proven my inefficiency in my quest of grammar greatness. (And since I’m being vulnerable here, I’d appreciate NO FEEDBACK ON PREVIOUS POSTS’ MISTAKES.)
Since that little tidbit is clear, I want to talk about apostrophe esses (spelling the letter “s” just made me LOLsers!). It’s sort of a passion of mine, especially since I have a child with nomenclature that ends in the letter -s. He is one child. He is not plural. Thus, when writing about him and using his name with ownership, he requires an apostrophe -s to be added. So, if his name was Poots, his boots would be Poots’s boots, his suits would be Poots’s suits, his flute would be Poots’s flute, and his toots would be…
Stinky.
Anyway. You are catching my point, I’m sure. This is the way I was taught in elementary English all the way through college English. And I know that it is right, because it’s the way I was taught.
Except.
I’ve been noticing for quite some time that other people, including people whom I love (what is this world coming to? We’re on the verge of The End, for sure), don’t follow the rule as I know it. As it’s supposed to be, darnit.
And so, being the investigator that I am, I did some research. (FBI, start shaking in your boots. ‘Cause I’m gooood at investigations. See post “I’ll Take Things…” for reference.)
From grammarbook.com:
(You needn’t read the entire list, but specifically look at Rule 1b and 1c)
Rule 1a. Use the apostrophe to show possession. To show possession with a singular noun, add an apostrophe plus the letter s.
Examples:
a woman’s hat
→→→the boss’s wife ←←←(emphasis and arrows and colored text mine)
Mrs. Chang’s house
Rule 1b. Many common nouns end in the letter s (lens, cactus, bus, etc.). So do a lot of proper nouns (Mr. Jones, Texas, Christmas). There are conflicting policies and theories about how to show possession when writing such nouns. There is no right answer; the best advice is to choose a formula and stay consistent.
Rule 1c. Some writers and editors add only an apostrophe to all nouns ending in s. And some add an apostrophe + s to every proper noun, be it Hastings’s or Jones’s.
One method, common in newspapers and magazines, is to add an apostrophe + s (‘s) to common nouns ending in s, but only a stand-alone apostrophe to proper nouns ending in s.
Examples:
the class’s hours
Mr. Jones’ golf clubs
the canvas’s size
Texas’ weather
Care must be taken to place the apostrophe outside the word in question. For instance, if talking about a pen belonging to Mr. Hastings, many people would wrongly write Mr. Hasting’s pen (his name is not Mr. Hasting).
Correct: Mr. Hastings’ pen
Another widely used technique is to write the word as we would speak it. For example, since most people saying “Mr. Hastings’ pen” would not pronounce an added s, we would write Mr. Hastings’ pen with no added s. But most people would pronounce an added s in “Jones’s,” so we’d write it as we say it: Mr. Jones’s golf clubs. This method explains the punctuation of for goodness’ sake.
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Sooooo. Was I right? I was.
Are “the others” that do this different than the way I do correct, too? Looks like it.
We’re all all right. (Even though it kind of makes me a little uneasy saying that…)
So my point is?
We are all products of what we’ve learned. Where we’ve been. What we’ve experienced. What we’ve had the privilege of (or lack thereof) learning or seeing or doing or… It doesn’t make us more right because of what we’ve had anymore than it does someone that’s learned something different. And it also doesn’t give us the privilege to shame someone for having learned it differently than we did. I think that anger and shame and ugliness that comes out of people when there are differences is rooted in one thing: FEAR. And like that song that’s been playing on the radio says: “Fear is a liar.”
I could have found a website to corroborate my theory of the apostrophe -s. I could have called on some old grammar teachers for a direct quote. Could have dusted off the old Grammar book I paid (ok, my mom and dad did) an arm and a leg for at UGA… I could have made my point valid and logical and sound and…right. Perhaps the terminology for that method may be “Fake News.”
Bottom line is that I am wishing and hoping and praying that people would just stop. Stop always trying to be right. Stop always trying to tell others how wrong they are. Stop screaming about this, that, or the other. JUST STOP ARGUING. And understand that there will always be things that are, well, gray. Things we don’t always agree on, the whole way through. However, there is usually a common thread that connects us at our point of disagreement. For my example, I think both parties would agree that an apostrophe is needed…somewhere. And as quoted on the website mentioned above,
“There is no right answer; the best advice is to choose a formula and stay consistent.”
And I might perhaps add to that small sentiment: try to see where the two points collide and rest there.
And so, with all of this being said, I wonder how many other things of which I need to do some investigative research.
Perhaps you do too.
Regardless if you appreciate my “preachy-ness” here, there’s one thing for certain:
Poots’s toots still stink.
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Me thinks you bees right!! I love your words!!!
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Just keep praying.
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Betsy!! 😂😂😂 I love this post so much!! I am a grammar person and even I cringe at how much the haters hate on people who make oppsies in their writing. I agree with you, the apostrophe has to be in there somewhere, lol! But at he same time, there is no need to shame people either. The way I see it, if someone is writing, regardless of what it is, then they’re doing a great thing.
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